Understanding the Difference: Who vs. Whom Explained

Many English learners often find themselves puzzled about when to use “who” and “whom.” Interestingly, even native speakers can sometimes trip up on these two terms!

The rules of when to use who and whom are actually pretty simple. According to English grammar rules:  

• The word who should be used when the person it’s describing is the subject of a sentence
• Use “whom” when referring to the object of a sentence or following a preposition.

In this article, we’ll explore the two key terms, clarify when to use each one, and provide helpful rules and examples to guide you in making the right choice moving forward.

Who vs. Whom: What’s the difference?

In this video, LingualNeeds tutor Karen gives a 2-minute explanation.

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A simple rule to chose correctly between who and whom

The best way to remember the difference is with the he/him or she/her rule:

If you can replace who or whom in a sentence with he/she then use who.

If you can replace it with him/her then use whom.

See the example below:

• Alan was playing the guitar. > Who was playing the guitar? He was playing the guitar.
• I saw Ivan at the party. > Whom did you see at the party? I saw him at the party.

These examples illustrate a simple rule: if you can respond to the question with “he,” then it’s appropriate to use “who” in the interrogative sentence. Conversely, if your answer is “him,” then “whom” is the correct choice.

• The policeman was talking to the man. > To whom was the policeman talking?
• The man who was carrying the bags is Mary’s brother.
• The girl whom I saw at the party is my friend’s ex-girlfriend.
• The girl to whom the ugly man was talking is Jim’s daughter.

In these sentences, who is the subject of the sentence, while whom is the object. Whom also is used after prepositions.

Times when you can use either

In most cases, you can comfortably use “who” and “whom” interchangeably. While “whom” isn’t commonly heard in everyday conversation, it still holds a place in formal writing and speech.

In conversational speech, using the structure “preposition + whom” can be helpful, especially when dealing with lengthy or complex sentences that make it hard to clearly distinguish between the preposition and the noun.

• Who did you see at the party?
• Whom did you see at the party? (not common, but acceptable)
• Who was the ugly man talking to?
• To whom was the ugly man talking?
• Who can we call in case of emergency?
• Whom can we call in case of emergency?

When to use whom (examples!)

Here are some very polite phrases used in telephone communication instead of simple, neutral expressions:

• Whom did you want me to contact?
• With whom did you go to the meeting?
• “To Whom It May Concern” is a formal salutation used in written communication when the recipient’s name is unknown, typically addressing the individual responsible for the relevant matter.

Conclusion

Understanding the distinction between “who” and “whom” is often more crucial in writing than in conversation. In spoken language, even native speakers might overlook the mistake. However, when crafting important documents, it’s essential to use the correct form. Being mindful of these grammatical rules not only enhances your writing but also conveys professionalism.

I would suggest that you can come up with your phrases using who and whom to remember better how to use them correctly.